Human After All
29, Los Angeles, Writer, introspective slacker, and Perv. Loves big butts, big hearts, big minds. Dislikes bacon-haters. Ain't no body got time for that.
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siouxerz:

hhantu:

franfrancatman:

My dad and I made this fishtank for my mum for Christmas a few years ago with dollhouse furniture. I thought it was pretty rad

i cant believe your mom is a fish

crying

hey it’s like my dream kinda

(via laidarling)

Alright, so i just woke up from a weird ass dream (which contained a shocking lack of actual asses). It’s kind of hard to describe where i was living, but it looked like glass bungalows? I just remember long rectangular glass buildings with these little units that had a sliding glass doors in front and a slightly raised section in the back where there was a bed and a window. When you walked in, on the right hand side was a sink and a stove. On the left had side was a bathtub and a toilet. Outside was very tropical with palm trees and Bird of Paradise plants, etc. It looked like some kind of resort. The weather outside was somewhat grey, but there wasn’t any precipitation. I was laying in bed when all of the sudden the bathtub started filling up with water. Before i knew it, it was overflowing and flooding the entire unit. That’s when i realized something weird. The bathtub was filled with fish. Like, super tropical finding Nemo type fish. I was confused, amused, concerned, interested…and frustrated all at once. I should have been more concerned when i saw an eel swimming around, but strangely, i wasn’t. Even when the water in the unit came up to my waist. Not wanting to drown, i slid my front door open and a bunch of the water drained, but apparently, there was a few steps in the unit that you had to go up to go out the front, then walk a few steps to get out…so not all the water drained. I ran a few units over where my mom was staying to tell her what was going on. I get to her unit and she’s sitting there having tea with Bill Cosby and they both look at me like I’m bothering them. I say “Ma, you gotta come over here and see this”. She looks at me even more annoyed now “Why, what is it?”. I’m walking on fucking sunshine for whatever reason at this moment and i say “MY ROOM HAS TURNED INTO SEAWORLD, COME SEE!” and i shit you not, Bill Cosby looks at me and tells me i need to have a jello pudding pop and take a nap. I was so over Bill Cosby’s shit at that point, but i wasn’t going to let him ruin my excitement. I ended up convincing my mom to come over and see and, when we got there, you could see all the different sea life swimming around inside. I don’t know where Bill Cosby fucked off to at this point, but i was glad he was gone. My mom just looks and goes “You need to keep your door fully open all night or else it’s going to keep filling up”. I said “No way, mosquitoes and spiders will come in and bite me”. Apparently i wasn’t worried about whatever sea creatures were swimming around in there…but god forbid spiders and mosquitoes. Around this time, i noticed that water was filling up outside my back window as well. I walked over to the left side of the unit and noticed two of my neighbors were standing outside. I went to walk over to them and ask if they were having the same problem when i noticed that they were actually sharkpeople and nope, fuck that. Went back to my unit and noticed my mom was gone. Probably left to find Bill. Anyway, I’m sitting there trying to figure out what to do about this whole situation, when one of my neighbors shows up and she’s suddenly hot and not all sharky anymore. She tells me she likes what I’ve done with the place. I tell her she’s pretty cute for a shark chick. She tells me she’s a wereshark and she’s sorry for scaring me earlier. I told her i wasn’t scared, i just forgot i left the water running. She laughed, i was proud of myself. I woke up not long after realizing that, no, i was not flirting with a super hot wereshark. My brain was essentially flirting with itself and simultaneously flattered and very pleased with itself. Now I’m sitting here wide awake wishing i could flirt with shark girl again and pretty damn pissed off at Bill Cosby. I don’t want to be mad at you, Bill, but no one tells me when or when not to have a jello pudding pop.

TL;DR: Flooded glass apartment with fish swimming everywhere. Bill Cosby. Jello Pudding Pops. Sexy wereshark lady.

Goodnight.

gamoradorable:

them: oh are u excited for that new marvel movie?
me

image

(via illusionallife)

Hugs are cool.

They’re basically two people saying “I want us to stand here and hold each other for a few moments regardless of who is around”.

thatdudeemu:

queerasfuck88:

Jon Stewart Goes After Fox in Powerful Ferguson Monologue

I been waiting for the daily show to come back so they could cover this

(Source: youtube.com, via tiffanipaige)

Where do cats get off being so smug?

I have apposable thumbs you little asshole.

Elephants can paint

Gorillas use sign language

You lose your shit over laser pointers and balls of yarn

your weakness is boxes

I AM A HYPER EVOLVED PRIMATE AND YOU WILL RESPECT ME

bluewindsummer:

*shows up 15 minutes late with a crappy dorito comic*

Origin Stories: CAPTAIN DORITO (this is part 1) (part 2 out next week or something)

Click here for other Avengers comics

(via laidarling)

lamagdalena13:

ephiros:

kishona:

ephiros:

monasticmaestoso:

none of those words are the correct words why does this have 6,000 notes

OH MY GOD

are these linkin park lyrics

It’s so unreal

I am laughing way too hard at this

(Source: rairakkun)

Reblog if it’s okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

(Source: prisonofsociety, via toxicwaxrainbows)

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